I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
