She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
