My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
