I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
