she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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