if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
