Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
