This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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