dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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