I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
