Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
