there's paper in my vomit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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