Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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