Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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