Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I will be naked everywhere
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize