No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
