It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
