so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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