xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
