you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
