My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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