You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
