Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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