escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
