I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
is that a dick in a sweater?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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