Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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