I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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