Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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