felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
