I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
