we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
