Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
