just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
