i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
