So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
