stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize