Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
