That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
