someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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