so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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