Kareoke will never be a sober sport
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
