My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize