We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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