your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize