; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
