Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
