he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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