No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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