is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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