Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
