Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
