About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize