He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
