Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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