So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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