I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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